1. Safety Protocols
help you make good decisions before you work with a client
- create comfort and safety by introducing some vulnerability to build connection
- introduce yourself by first name or pseudonym
- include one or two brief things to help us get to know you
- use “I feel” statements when offering opinions
Stay Safe with Eight
Require clients to fill out an agreement form and waiver
Research the client on social media
Before agreeing to work with a client, conduct a 15-30 minute phone, video or in-person consultation to determine whether they are safe
Watch for red flags
Request a photo of the client’s driver’s license or other government ID
For inbound sessions, give out the address only after you’ve received payment and the driver’s license
Use a safety buddy
Trust your gut
No Agreement? No Service
It’s a critical part of our safety process because it requires the client to be accountable for their behavior. If a client won’t sign it, we don’t work with them.
- I confirm that I’m at least 18 years of age.
- Professional cuddling sessions are non-sexual. I understand that touching, both given and received will be platonic, non-erotic and non-romantic.
- Both people will remain fully clothed. If I need to change clothing, I’ll do so in a private room or the restroom.
- To ensure the practitioner’s safety, I agree to send a photo of my driver’s license or other agreed upon identification.
- I understand that my professional cuddler may use a “Safety Buddy” protocol where the Safety Buddy is contacted to confirm the professional cuddler’s safety.
- Should the professional cuddler interpret any of my actions as inappropriate or threatening, the cuddler has the right to end the session with no refund given.
- I agree to arrive and stay sober throughout the session.
- I understand that payment is required prior to the start of any session.
- There is a 24-hour cancellation policy. To cancel, text or email your professional cuddler and confirm that it was received. Any appointment canceled within 24 hours of the appointment may be non-refundable.
- I agree to shower or bathe within 24 hours of the session and dress in clean clothes free from cologne, perfume, body wash or cigarette smoke. (Fresh breath is appreciated, too!)
- I’ll let my professional cuddler know if I’m not feeling well and may be contagious.
- I understand that any photos or video recording must be discussed and consented to before the session begins. I agree not to post any photos or videos without written consent from Cuddle Sanctuary and my professional cuddler.
- I understand that my professional cuddler reserves the right to refuse service to anyone.
Notice, Waiver and Release of Liability: Please read carefully.
I, “Client,” understand that participation in the activity described as professional cuddling sessions (hereinafter “Activity”) is completely voluntary and at my own risk. I make this release and waiver in consideration of being permitted to participate in such Activity. By signing this waiver, I agree to assume full responsibility for any injury or injuries, both physical and mental, death, loss, or damage that I may sustain in the Activity AND I WAIVE ANY AND ALL LIABILITY AND ANY RIGHT OF ACTION, WHETHER LEGAL, EQUITABLE OR IN ANY OTHER FORM, AGAINST RELEASED PARTIES (DEFINED BELOW). I am aware that there are risks involved with my participation in the Activity that could result in injury to me requiring medical attention, death, or property damage or any other loss and I HEREBY FOREVER RELEASE AND HOLD HARMLESS all others, including but not limited to, [NAME OF BUSINESS], ALONG WITH any agents, representatives, employees, officers, or directors thereof; any of the facilitators and/or professional cuddlers participating in the Activity and any agents, representatives, employees, officers, or directors thereof (TOGETHER, THE “RELEASED PARTIES”); from any liability for any and all damages whatsoever. I understand that this waiver will be used against me and anyone else claiming damages, losses or liability against ANY RELEASED PARTIES.
This release and waiver agreement shall be interpreted under [STATE] law and venue for any legal action arising from the Activity shall be [CITY, COUNTY, STATE].
I have personally read and understand this document.
_____________________________
Print Name
_____________________________
Sign Name
_____________________________
Date
Research the client
- use google or social media
- is he dangerous? does he shows a lot of anger in his posts?
- if you can’t find them, your next step – the consultation – becomes that much more important as a vetting tool
Consultation
15-30 mins to:
- Establish rapport with the client
- Figure out if you’ll be safe with this client
Questions To Ask
- How did you find out about my services?
- Why are you seeking a professional cuddling session?
- Have you had a professional cuddling session before? How did that go?
- Do you mind sharing about your current relationship status?
- I ask for photo ID, is that okay with you?
- Is there anything else you’d like for me to know about you?
Example
- As you may already know, my sessions are nonsexual. By non-sexual, I don’t just mean that nothing explicitly sexual will happen during the session. I also mean that I like to keep the tone and intention of sessions platonic as well, meaning non-erotic, and non-romantic. I like to create a nurturing, healing, soothing and comforting vibe. There’s no judgment of sexual services, it’s just not what I offer. Does this line up with what you’re looking for? Did you have any questions about that?
Feeling Safe? Next Steps for Your Consultation
- Learn the client’s needs and preferences (so you can be prepared for a session with them)
- Schedule the session
- Prepare the client for the session by soothing their fears and helping them know what to expect
Pro tip #1:
- Tell the client about how to handle it if they get aroused during the session. Even if a penis-owning client doesn’t ask, it’s usually at the top of their mind as a worry. Example: “If arousal happens, that’s okay. It’s a natural response. All I ask is that you don’t do anything to stoke it or maintain it. Just make a shift. How does that sound?”
Pro tip #2:
- For clients who are nervous, or who you get the sense might need help learning to honor boundaries, go over the Ask and Wait Method. (You’ll learn about Ask and Wait in an upcoming lesson.)
Red flags
- red flags do not necessarily mean a person will not be a good fit for your service
- If you observe a red flag, you may want to have an open conversation with your potential client about it
It’s a red flag if the client:
- Requests a session under multiple pseudonyms
- Has seen many professional cuddlers before
- Mentions having had cuddle sessions before but is vague about the name of service
- Comments about your appearance
- Questions about what you will wear or makes clothing requests
- Asks multiple questions about what they can wear
- Requests that you arrange more than one cuddler
- Isn’t able to talk openly and directly about your service
- Is in a rush to move forward
- Sends texts that say “hi” without a specific question
- Goes forever back and forth with texts and emails
- Doesn’t want to give a copy of their ID/Wants to keep anonymity
- Asks questions about where they can touch or where you will touch them
- Asks questions about specific body parts
- Asks if kissing is okay
- Brings up sexual topics / questions that relate to sexual fetishes
- Brings up sex (even not being interested in sex) frequently in the conversation
Consultation Sample #1
Finding out why a client wants to do this and if they have done it b before
Consultation Sample #2
- Explaining to client your service is non-sexual, non-romantic, and non-erotic
- turning them down nicely
- listen again. it’s a great example!
- Note from another video (5:50): I know we don’t know each other well, but I want to talk about something very personal, which is our arousal can happen
Use a Safety Buddy
A safety buddy is a reliable friend who knows you’re a professional cuddler and wants to help you stay safe.
Pro tip: Set a reminder for yourself so that you don’t forget to contact your safety buddy after your session is over.
- Give your safety buddy the client’s name, driver’s license info, address and time of your session and a safe word that only you and your safety buddy know.
- Have your safety buddy set an alarm for themselves 30 minutes after your session is scheduled to end.
- As soon as the session has ended and either you or the client has safely left, contact your safety buddy with the safe word to let them know you are safe.
- Make sure you get a response from your safety buddy so that there is no miscommunication.
- If your safety buddy doesn’t hear the safe word from you within 30 minutes of the end of your session, have them contact you in multiple ways: Phone, Text, Facebook Message, Email, etc.
- If you don’t respond or if the safe word is missing from your response, have them call 911 with all the details you’ve provided
Trust Your Gut
If your gut signals danger to you, trust your gut. Even if it doesn’t make logical sense, trust your gut.
You can leave a session at any time if something just seems wrong
- help you have good experiences during your sessions
- efficient screening process to easily filter clients that are not a good fit for your service
- include physical safety and also the emotional safety that comes when what we offer and what the client wants is a match
Ask and Wait Method (with demos)
It is the consent method where you request to touch the client and then pause until you get an answer.
This method is best if you or the client want more space and time to navigate a touch experience. A client with trauma may feel safer using this method. Or a professional may use Ask and Wait with certain clients to help strengthen their understanding of consent.
The way it works is that if I want to touch the client – like hold her hand. I’ll ask: May I hold your left hand? I’ll keep my body language neutral so that she has the physical and emotional space to say Yes or No. If I’m holding her hand and want to now to caress it, I would ask again: May I caress your hand?
Your client would also use this technique if they want to touch you. It takes some practice to get used to it. If you or the client feel like you’re asking a lot, that means you’re doing it correctly.
Blanket Yes Method
If you feel safe with the client and they feel safe with you, you can try out the Blanket Yes method of consent. This would give you both the option to touch each other without asking for consent over and again.
If either of you want touch to be adjusted or to stop, you would say so:
Can we try something else?
Would you slow down your caress?
I need to take a break.
The Blanket Yes method only works if you both feel empowered to speak up for your needs. Here are more specifics about the Blanket Yes that you can share with your client.
Bathing suit areas
You and the client will avoid areas typically covered with a bathing suit. On chests, we steer clear of breasts and nipples. We’re mindful to ask about touching a person’s belly. (It could be a sensitive or off-limit area for the client or for you.)
Clothing borders
We won’t reach under the borders of any clothing. Here’s an example of this: If I’m stroking up your arm and reach the sleeve of your t-shirt, I won’t go under the sleeve to access more of your bare skin. I’ll continue the stroke over the cloth of the shirt.
Keeping It Platonic (14-min video worth rewatching)
We define platonic to mean non-sexual, non-erotic, and non-romantic. In our society, touch between adults has been very sexualized. Platonic touch has no agenda. It’s not intended to “go anywhere” therefore there’s no pressure for it to escalate into something else.
One method for keeping session platonic is for practitioners to be aware of their own sexuality and take care of their own needs.
We talk about platonic touch and define it with our client ahead of time so there is no confusion. Before a session begins – if you are hosting – be aware of your space. Make sure your cuddle space is decorated in a neutral – not sexually suggestive – way.
Choose music that’s more on the relaxing side rather than music that’s considered arousing or sexy. In terms of clothing, we recommend you choose options that are comfortable and not purposefully provocative. Clothing choices are subjective – please use your best judgment.
Some cuddle positions, such as spooning, or lying on top of the client may have the accidental effect of creating arousal. Arousal is a natural body response to relaxation and sometimes to touch. We don’t freak out or shame the client. Instead we recommend that they make a shift (“let’s make a shift”)- perhaps of position, breathing, or mind set.
If a client’s hands begin to wander, you can nonverbally redirect them by holding both of their hands in yours. Sometimes that nonverbal cue is enough. If that behavior persists, you may need to use your words and clarify your boundaries.
aimed at your holistic safety – a beacon of support throughout your cuddling career
- Pay attention to body language, tone, facial expressions
- learn what the signals are that someone gives when they agree to things they aren’t a full yes to
Are You “Out” As a Cuddler?
If your strategy is to keep your practice confidential, it does make me feel some maternal concern
- don’t do it coz you are broke
- don’t do it coz you feel obligated
Your Cuddle Community
- Trusted friends with great heads on their shoulders
- Peers who are fellow small business owners
- Pals who are therapists, social workers, coaches or other healing professionals
Training Considerations
- Strong testimonials from former students
- Free sample of training so you can determine if you like the teaching style
- Business tools provided so you don’t have to re-invent the wheel
- Post training support
- A community of professionals for you to interact with after the training is over